K-Pop fan. This blog is random
Black and Asian.
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and like that i felt alone again

6 days ago


Natsu is hot

Why can’t anime characters be real..

1 week ago


My family may be a pain in the you-know-where to me but you have no right to use my family members name like that, especially when it comes from your mouth.

1 week ago


I don’t need hypocrisy or idiocy added, but right now the question is what’s best for you? Staying or leaving? Making spite remarks and comments against each other because of anger that has yet to be shown isn’t going to help the situation but obviously it can’t be helped.

Observing from afar but not inquiring up close.

All of this.
Shameful, really.

It’s bad enough that we’re going through this ordeal - for me anyway - because honestly I don’t want to lose anybody, even if there are problems internally, but it’s too late.

Sides have shown and confusion lingers.

Family first.

I may have been a fool in the past but I’ve learned from my wrongs; I may have not been a fool, I may have been the one who saw a fool make the mistake.

There may be no problem with me but even then I would feel a tad bit better knowing that we’re all getting shit talked; There may not be enough things to really shit talk me about …

In all honesty, I don’t like the way the tides have turned. There’s no use in trying to put everything back the way it was because that will all hold us back but sometimes you look back and think about the fun times we had and made.

It’s just a shame to see it all go. But now, the obstacles we’re facing will prepare us for the future. Obviously, this was meant to be and the memories will be cherished soon but for now.. the storm has yet to pass.

What is the outcome?

We’ve already seen the destruction on one side but what will happen to the rest? Manageable or unmanageable?

Are you that unwilling to forgive someone who has helped you more and hurt you less but forgive someone who has hurt you so much and helped you less? Are you blind to see that they are the reason you’re being held back and not changing for the better? Open your eyes and think a little. You’re confused but you can think for yourself. You’re grown for Pete’s sake, act grown! Don’t let one’s perspective cloud your judgement because where is your judgement? Where is your voice? Why are you even listening to someone younger than you?! You’ve proven yourself right and truthful on many occasions and you’ve shown that you’re different but you’re completely wrapped around her finger.

Despicable, I might add.

"Bonds are broken, new ones are formed."

We’ll go down this path and they’ll go down that one because our opinions on which way to go differ and we have to improve on ourselves before we can help another improve.

Seperation can sometimes be healing or it may cause insanity.

Loneliness can cause heartbreak to dwell but it also allows realization.

1 week ago


I tend to write long posts to let out frustration and this poem … rant .. shouldn’t even be shared since it’s personal… but..
- Who cares?! Lol
- The poem goes from anger at two to anger at one
Tell me your age and tell me if you’re acting the age you are.
The age you claim to be.
Tell me if the actions justify with your age.
Tell me if the noise coming from your mouth justifies.
The small attacks that you throw back and fourth
Like child’s play
An argument between kids
Tell me if it is justifiable
You let your senses get clouded by anger, hatred, a sense of betrayal, and a pinch of jealousy because you didn’t hear it first hand.
Let me tell you -
There was genuine happiness and content before the secret spilled.
Let me mention the fact
The word enemy was yet to be created between both sides.
Now there’s fear mixed in.
The truth was spilled
Neither side takes a glance at either’s perspectives because there was already tension
You don’t trust enemies nor is there any trust unto them
But have you heard the quote that some secrets and words should also be kept from friends no matter how much trust is put unto a friend
But sometimes we don’t think
Because we didn’t like you for your actions, we lost respect for you and that’s why you’re angry
“Why can’t they let go of the past?”
You wonder and wonder what’s wrong with the action that made us lose respect for you.
Let me tell you.
You did what we wouldn’t do.
You’re no longer pure and you haven’t shared that, as well as the fact that you chose misters before sisters.
There’s nothing wrong with the reason;
You have no reason to be angry,
Because you’re the fool here.
Truth be told I no longer wanted to be associated with you because even though I realized you were that way, I forgave
I have yet to forget
(Because that’s something that can’t be forgotten..)
You’re so naïve, stubborn, and thick headed
That’s why you can’t understand;
That’s why you don’t see the situation clearly.

2 weeks ago

A tribute to all Leobin shippers

A tribute to all Leobin shippers

(Source: vixxationsofthesoul, via vixxrovix)

2 weeks ago

Even if I wasn’t okay it wouldn’t matter.
Pain never fades even when you’re genuinely happy.
There are times when you may find the peace and calm but the destructive feeling of pain and sadness, suffering and anger will come back. The pain that comes in your chest gives off a burning sensation throughout your whole body. You feel like you’re on fire but the question is why are you feeling this way? What is the reason for feeling this way? Is it because of experiencing a different side to the world we live in? Or is it because we feel like we’re all alone? When we’re happy, it’s because others have helped us build happiness but even so when we’re along physically all the thoughts come. We feel as if we can’t speak to anyone about this because the feeling of burdensome and annoyance come in and mess with our brain so we silently suffer. Tears don’t fall for our pain and suffering but they easily fall for the stories we hear from others about others. How is it that we easily fall into the depth of this dark world, but because we fell into the darkness it’s easier for us to find light because the light comes to those who desperately need it but what we’re not careful about is who we choose as our light. 

We have our small havens and sources of comfort but even we fall out of those comforting sources and find something new.

They say build happiness around yourself, trust yourself, and love yourself before you can give any of those things to others but we’re so broken and torn; we feel like we need a supportive pillar so we build happiness around others like fools we are. We want to help others but we don’t know how to help ourselves, like fools we are. We want to trust others and love others, we do so easily that we don’t realize we have begun digging our own graves in advance. 

How much more foolish could one be?

How is that we are capable of all the grief we have put onto ourselves, all the grief that it is inside of us, yet we are so much stronger than those who don’t have so much grief inside of themselves? 

How is that we can be so much more happier than someone who hasn’t lost anyone in their family but we have lost so many lives in our families? 


Even if the smile that is being worn is just a plaster of false feelings, we still smile and show that we are okay when deep on the inside we feel like we’re being torn? The subconscious feeling that only comes when you are alone, but isn’t present when there are others around?

We’re so tired of this pain and suffering we’re put through but we’re so afraid of taking our own life because we know there is something better in store for us, that one day all this pain and suffering will stop because we take it step by step. It’s a long and hard process but we know we can get through it even if we don’t know it yet.

We take things for granted but in the end we’re thankful even if we can’t be thankful of our own lives; even if we can’t value the importance of our lives yet.

We’ll get through it despite the pain and suffering because we’re not alone, even if it feels like the world doesn’t know how we feel…

2 weeks ago


Did the whole thing about TaeYeon and BaekHyun dating die down? Haha, posting my opinion so late, but anyways, I kind of understand why “fans” are mad lol, but at the same time, these “fans” are so ignorant. I was reading a post and it said the whole dating thing started because SooMan was interested in TaeYeon but the feelings were different - apparently that is also the reason why SNSD has ‘bad’ songs lately, SUPPOSEDLY - then it also said BaekHyun was trying to convince Lee SooMan that he wasn’t gay, so he asked TaeYeon for help.. SUPPOSEDLY!!
No offense, but SM needs help if one of those reasons is right… Oh! It also said something about how he did the same thing to BoA.. his “feelings” for her -.-
Yo, what the hell though?! People get your priorities straight, please!! It’s bad enough that TaeYeon cried at the airport… where is BaekHyun through out all of this? On room mate -.- (I really wanted to do that .. lol.. sorry) but seriously though. Liking someone can’t be helped sometimes. You can’t make up excuses - underage drinking; well actually it’s not an excuse but… - just for that person to leave a boy/girl band. Like, really? Give me a break.
You “fans” who are hating this relationship they have, get over it and get over yourself. You hate others just because they achieved something you can only dream of - not all of you but I’m speaking in general. I don’t think that many American fans don’t have a problem with it, do they? I mean a few.. but dude if you are hating, go find someone for yourself, and maybe if you experience that tingling or butterfly feeling, then you’d understand.

Dang yo, I never even been in a for real relationship, hahaha!!! But I know what heartbreak feels like it and if you experienced it then you’d understand how much your words are stinging them. Is that what you call ‘love’? Your hate? If you truly loved the group, you’d put their happiness before their career, and yeah even though they ‘mocked’ us with instagram and such, it’s not like they could actually see each other for a long time since each party is busy. TaeYeon has apologized over and over again, BaekHyun …
I don’t know - he disappeared lol.
Be respectful and stop acting like kids/ sasaeng fans towards the two adults. They know what they’re doing.

On top of that, B2ST’s song ‘Good Luck’ is so catchy and awesome!!
Got7 - A
AOA - Short Hair -> ChoA has nice curves <- just saying.
B2ST - History - this song is a must listen to!!! Seriously.

1 month ago

Leader JB describes his members

(Source: ohgotseven, via marktuon)

1 month ago

I typed a whole blog post.

It got deleted

I am sad again..

1 month ago

happy second anniversary to the six goofiest, most talented, and sweetest six korean men ever ♡ thank you for bringing out the light in all of us. we strlight will continue to shine bright with your love and support you all no matter what happens. 차학연, 정택운, 이재환, 김원식, 이홍빈, 한상혁, 사랑해!

(Source: thekoreangirl, via vixxtoobomb)

2 months ago
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