Every once in awhile, I smile through heartbreak
All of a sudden, I just feel really heartbroken but it’s okay. I’ll be okay. The heartbreak turns into a familiar feeling that comes and goes but will always bring tears to your eyes.
Yesterday was my first time at SEBC and I was lovin’ the freakin’ hype. There are so many great dancers and I realized that I got a long way to go as a dancer; if I can raise my grades from a very low GPA, all F’s to a freaking 3.12, A’s and B’s in less then two years, my dancing skills would be so amazing if I actually committed myself to dancing. I may be busy and tired but I always love dancing with my #FamiliaVongola. We’re so close and our bond was proven to be so trustworthy yesterday at SEBC5, and I’m so happy that these guys have entered my life!! We may be annoyed with one on another time and time again but by the end of the day, we’re all laughs and smiles. Everyone needs this happiness. I learned how to be happy on my own but I’m not going to lie; having this group around me just helps me forget all the hard and troubled times I went through. I’m so thankful to God for letting me meet these people and allowing me to be healing spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I know I have my biological family to rely on but they don’t seem to understand me as well as my #FamiliaVongola does. Thanks guys, I appreciate everything!!
I have finally hit my breaking point. For as long as I can remember I have endured my mother’s abuse, whether it is verbal, emotional, or as seen here physical. I can expect some act of violence on a daily basis, and her beating me is not an usual occurrence, but today something snapped. My mother did this unprovoked, and this time she didn’t stop. Usually it’s bad for a little while and then she’s done, today it went on for what seemed like forever. At a certain point I decided I was going to do something I never do, call the police. You see, my mother is a highly respected and very well known person where I live. She is on the board of ed, worked for CPS for many years, and is close personal friends with people like the local chief of police, director of our local CPS unit, and so on. I always knew that calling wouldn’t go anywhere and just upset her more, but today I had to try. While she was kicking me I found my opportunity, and somehow managed to get away from someone more than twice my size. I ran as fast as I could, knocking things over behind my, trying to find a phone. I dialed and they listened and my mother proceeding to beat me over it, while I screamed for help. For the second time today, I managed to get away from her and ran to my room. I barely had enough time to lock my door, before she starting trying to get it, to the point that she ripped my door off the frame. I decided I was going to stay locked in there, until the police came. The past few months I have been collecting evidence against her, voice recordings, pictures like these, and videos of her violence, so they couldn’t dispute what was going on. But I was dead wrong.
When the officer finally came up to my room, I attempted to tell him my side of the story, but before I could get a sentence out he silenced me. HE told me that this was my mothers house, and I needed to live by her rules. If I didn’t she had the right to punish me. He also told me to be tankful for her, because he wanted to press assault charges against me. finally, he refused, despite my begging, for him to take me to a shelter for teens.
I am utterly disgusted by the injustice that occurred today. I pray there is no one else out there who is living in such a situation. I am not sure exactly what I am getting out of writing this, except maybe that it’s just nice to be able to open up about this, when I have had to keep it a secret my whole life. idk. sorry for posting such heavy shit.
Signal boost the fuck out of this
Okay. Abuse is not a punishment. It is torture against a helpless victim.
Some days my faith in humanity is restored.
Omg I am crying this is so cute!!!
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
I would rather run with wolves, between the trees
I would rather be with trees, than in the middle of noisy streets
We’ll just let the pain pierce the heart. Even after we’re pierced, we can still stand stronger and taller because we’ve been pierced one way too many times.
I am just so done for today. It’s a good thing I get a four day weekend. I need it.
I thought you would be the right one but it turns out that I let my wants get the best of me..Because you’re just as bad as all those other people who only crave lust instead of love… I want to fall in love with someone who can accept me for me, not to fall in love with him for that. Although we don’t talk anymore, I still want to tell you that you can’t tell someone how they’re feeling unless you really do know/understand how they feel.. If I say I don’t want to, then I don’t want to, don’t tell me that I do because we talk.. Just because we talked for about a good week or so doesn’t mean anything.. Maybe I talked to you because I wanted to talk to a friend, not because I wanted to talk to a lover… although I did admit a lot of things to you, it gave you no right to tell me what you did. Maybe that’s why I can’t find myself in a relationship anytime soon; I’m so tired of everyone just looking for someone they can do and then throw or toss to the side.. Maybe that’s why I tend to look at older guys more… I don’t know but I’m so done with this. I have morals, please respect that. Like they say, if you don’t tell your enemies anything, why should you tell your friends? I can’t believe I let myself get so carried away… How did I just now realize that you didn’t respect me? I’m such an idiot.. who thought I was getting something different when I was just getting the same thing that’s happened so many times… A fool who thought she found something that turned into nothing in the middle…
But it’s okay, because I don’t need a guy to be happy. It took me time to love myself and it will take me time to fully appreciate myself, so don’t expect me to fall in love with you so easily because it was hard for me, myself, and I. :)
Besides, I’m waiting for my path to be unveiled some more, so if love isn’t along the path anytime soon, I think I’ll be fine. I’ve survived this long without a lover - excluding family and friends - I think I can survive some more.
today i saw a person interacting with another person and i was like how do you do it?
“It’s crazy for us, but we’re so grateful for every single person that supported us—not many people where we live get this kind of opportunity to do what they love.” – Calum Hood